I'm so depressed, for so many reasons and the fact that I'm depressed makes me even more depressed. I can't to things that I want to do because I'm too depressed to be able to do it. I'm so depressed that I don't know who I am. Nothing makes me happy, nothing give me hope. I can feel it physically, it feels heavy and empty, it's heavy to breathe and it makes me feel tired, and where my heart should be (it is there but it feels like it's not) it's cold like if it's an empty cold space. And I can't feel my heart beating and I have a feeling it's beating very slow, and that's what makes me so tired. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up happy, and sometimes that kind of happens, I wake up and feel really okay. But I can't go to sleep, I think about a lot and get panic and cry. I'm not always depressed, but I have a lot of reasons to be and a very few reasons not to be. And I guess that if someone reads this, you'll probably think that therapy is a good idea, but for several reasons it's not a good idea for me. I guess I just wanted to write about this, to try to distract myself a bit. And maybe someone else here have ever felt the same way, so depressed that you can feel it physically. I'd really don't mind some support from someone. And I hope that if someone reads this you're feeling better than me, I really don't want anyone to feel this bad.