Breemarie, I remember feeling without hope. I borrowed my therapist's for me :-) That's what would get me to therapy each week, that she'd say something either interesting or useful. Other than that I did a lot of reading of hopeful novels, mostly teen stuff like the Harry Potter books (but before that), Lloyd Alexander, Madelaine L'Engle, etc. Reading about other people struggling helped me not feel so alone when I didn't have any "real" people in my life to help.