If the issues are trust and fearfulness due to previous bad experiences, maybe going out to find a new relationship/lover is more reckless than selfish. It's not selfish to want to make human connections or to want to find a loving relationship. It's reckless to dash into something new impulsively and then find out later that you'd picked a bad apple without realizing it. Perhaps going slow, getting to know people and their personalities and histories. Not just going for looks or the trappings of a successful life, but really looking to find someone with a kind heart and good character. And if that's scary, maybe finding a therapist to help you understand the severe trust issues and help you get beyond your fear and teach you how to communicate and reciprocate in a relationship -- all those things that get bent out of shape when we have traumatic experiences.

Going back to your first question: No, it's not selfish. It may even be healthy if you approach it in the right way, knowing there are no guarantees when it comes to love, but it's darn nice if you find it.