Amy isn't really a councellor she's just a mental health worker and just offers me advice which I have already heard a thousand times.

I also feel pressurised to get help from people my parents as they always have negative impression of me that I don't try harder enough, that I am wasting time, that my problems are not serious enough for mental health, that people I see haven't done anything. They ask me that daily.

They have a go at me every time I am in a low mood like I am sort of disease, so I don't open up to them and end up just coping with the pain myself.

I tell my cpn all this and she's dismissive as barely says a word, bats an eye lid or helps me. I tell graham and he's heard it a thousand times and I am ruining his life.

I feel so alone in this, I feel so invisible which adds to my depression and makes me feel as of I am not worthy of help.
I feel like giving up right now and ending it as it's so much better than staying alive and putting up with this ********.

I absolutely hate everyone saying think positively it will go away, distract take your mind off **** it goes away, I am fed up of people saying that once I have found a job I will feel 100% better. I wish that was the case. I wish it was simple as black and white.

I can't go on anymore. I am sorry

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V
M. Md