Quote:
Originally Posted by allme
Do you have much experience with Kratom? How often do you use it?
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I have quite a bit of experience. I was using it daily but now it is more like every other or every two days. I sent you a PM on this particular topic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by allme
Don't be hard on yourself like that, if it was as easy as just saying no, we wouldn't be in this place. Maybe give that relative a wide berth while you are trying to quit. The last thing you need is someone enabling it!
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I try not to be hard on myself and my partner continuously reminds me "addiction is a disease". I just don't always see it that way and become frustrated that I have such little control. I feel impulsive and gross, like I completely lack self-control. This relative is my grandmother and we are very close...I tell her everything and she is a big support during this depressive time (even though it seems to be lasting forever). I don't have a big support system or many people I can trust with my feelings and am comfortable talking to.
The part that hurts is she knows I have battled addiction with opiates and witnessed me in withdrawal hell for two weeks the first time I stopped. I was clean for 6 months, maybe more. Throughout that time she offered me pain killers left and right. I know she thought she was helping because I have chronic back pain; but each time I told her "You know I stopped those for a reason. I don't want to live a life of addiction anymore". Unfortunately it started again, a few times, and here I am repeating the cycle.
Sorry I took so long to respond. I appreciate you taking the time to read my post, respond, and offer support. I forgot to check this forum for updates.