Here's the deal with my sister. She's sick, she needs help, and she'll never try to get it. Because we had the same mother, I do feel compassion for her. However, because she has said hurtful things to me over the years and used me as an emotional punching bag by lamenting how hard her life has been, I can't have her around me. She can't let go of the past and is bitter, bitter, bitter. I think the only emotion she can really express is bitterness.

Anytime I've tried to make peace with my past, she reminds me of what was done to me growing up that triggers me. When I told her once that I was confident my bros loved me, she told me they didn't! Ten years after my divorce I told her I didn't have any bad feelings about my ex. She proceeded to tell me she found out that he was having an affair while we were still married. That was BS and even if it wasn't, why tell me ten years later when I'm at peace with him. When I'm feeling good, she'll bring me down with any kind of BS she can dream of or just be outright f**king mean. It's like she doesn't want me to get well or find peace. What she did 2 months ago put me over the edge. She kept insisting her abuse was worse and my mental illness was only caused by some genetic brain thing. I was so triggered by that I drank myself silly and emailed my T @ 3a.m because I felt so lonely. She acts like we're in some kind of contest about who got abused worse or tries to imply I wasn't abused. I can't talk to her. She doesn't want me to get well. She is so much like my mother in a lot of ways. Rather than be happy for me, she wants me beneath her. She's a real mind f**ker for sure.

I haven't talked to her in 2 months. I won't call her and she hasn't called me. Until she gets help, I can't be around her. And I know she'll never get help.