Our electric went off awhile after I went to bed last night. Have no idea why - no storms or anything. But it's a trigger for my anxiety - probably one of the top ones. Ever since the derecho in 2012 and we were without electricity for 10 days, I get scared when we're in for strong storms or whenever the electric goes out because you never know how long it'll be, but since our fire 6 months ago and all my fears magnified about 100 times, needless to say I didn't sleep well and was lying in bed shaking. Thank God it came back on at 7. But it just reminds me even more that we have a $300+ electric bill needing paid that is scaring me, and now I'm even more scared. It was expensive at the rental home we were staying at, and the husband had our final bill there added on to our recent bill here at our house. I know I'm really pestering him about the bills; but I want that off our back, but he doesn't seem to be worrying about it at all. He puts bills off so bad.

Also, does anyone else worry about their future?? I've been really stressing about it lately. I'm so afraid I'm going to be left alone, no family, and not able to take care of myself. I always leave putting gas in the car up to my husband, cutting grass - I've never cut grass in my life, taking care of the bills, I don't work... My parents are in their 70s now. I'm not close to my sister though she's nearby, my nephews are far away, and my son has Asperger's and I'm not sure mentally he'd be able to help me out later - if he sticks around and doesn't create a life of his own. I keep thinking what if I'm left all alone and can't take care of all this stuff?? What if I end up getting utilities shut off, home taken away, end up homeless?? It terrifies me and has been on my mind so much the past few weeks. I need to start learning to do some things I've realized. But I really don't know what the future holds, either, however, I'm not seeing it as being very happy.