i was addicted to opiates (pills, heroin) for a long time. the first 2 years sober were hell. i developed severe anxiety and social phobia. dont mean to scare u but it is really hard. but i made it and u can too. i wouldnt advise using Kratom though. it is also addictive and has withdrawals. kind of just substituting one drug for another. getting clean takes a lot of commitment to urself. holding urself accountable and taking responsibility for ur life. my life got out of control when i was using. i was doing things i never would have done before. now when i look back on that period of my life i feel like i am not the same person as i used to be. i do not crave opiates at all anymore. but im sure its different for everyone. i hope u can find the courage and strength to take control of ur life again. there is a way out and it involves a lot of support. i went to Intensive Outpatient program and it was really helpful.