Okay, so I have this random urge to hurt myself, sometimes. It's so random & it's like an internal on & off switch, because I'll be completely normal, and then I'll go into one of my fits where I'll cry hard for like hours, and I'll seriously want to bang my head on something, or burn myself for an example.
Up until about December, I was kinda depressed I'd say. I'd describe it as having a permanent storm cloud hanging over my head and never going away; I was just sad & pessimistic all the time. (But I should include that during that period I was in an emotionally abusive relationship.) Now, the feeling is back, especially since I've recently gotten into a relationship. In my opinion, it's worse now though because the feeling is random and I can't control the urge. Like in order for the feeling to go away, I actually have to hurt myself. I have no idea what's wrong with me. I don't know.., in a way I feel like part of myself holds somekind of resentment towards myself.