Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
(((Skywhite))),It took me a couple of years to even be able to talk to her. What I did notice is a conversation with her went fine as long as I was "empathizing" with her and meeting her emotional needs, she could talk with me on the phone for a couple of hours as long as I kept the focus on "empathizing her needs and emotional challenges", as soon as I would put myself into that mix with "my" emotional needs, it never failed, she suddenly needed to do something else and disconnect.
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Yes, our phone calls were the same. When I tried to talk about my stuff she would disconnect, down play its significance or say something hurtful. This went on for years! I felt she was trying to destroy me and keep me from being happy and getting better. The thing is, I just kept right on phoning her and keeping in touch hoping and hoping she would be different. My T said I have to mourn the loss of a sister I never had.
I was always the empathetic one in the family, the one who wore her heart on her sleeve. They would come to me with their problems, but I never felt I could go to them. It's a lonely way to be in a family. It's the same way now. I don't hate them at all, but I do my best to stay away. I trigger too easily right now to risk contact with any of them.
When I'm more stable I want to go over these family issues with my T because they're all going to be around for awhile. I'll have to learn how to cope with them.