I am the one that said total surrender is a part of the solution. I had to clarify that later in the thread. To me it means admitting that you are powerless over this disease, that it is kicking your ***, and that you need lots of help. I don't believe we can beat it alone. If I choose to do it alone then i have to accept things exactly as they are and learn to live with it as it is. If I choose to get help then i have some hope that things can get better. Meds, therapy, lots of in real life support, online support is very helpful. we are real people here. Meditation, diet, exercise, journaling. If you decide to climb the ladder as I have you have to figure out what works and what doesn't. Sometimes nothing works and I have to accept it and live with it. Currently miracle of all miracles the meds I am taking are working great. i can't believe it.

Depression to me is totally physical. I have 0 energy and 0 motivation. I sleep all the time. Its all I can do. I can physically feel the lack of activity in my brain. I have done years of therapy and all sorts of stuff along with meds. It still comes and goes and I have had to learn to accept it, surrender to it, and live with and manage it whatever that means for me. It is very difficult.