Thanks everyone. Today was much of the same. Functional in front of people and horribly depressed on my own. I am still scared but still trying to distract.

If I try the Invega I need to be off geodon first. I am terrified of that. On Tuesday this week I forgot my morning geodon because I left it at home. Then I somehow messed up my night geodon and only took one. Wednesday I woke up in this horrible state. I can't even try coming off geodon while I'm still working. No way. And I honestly don't know if I feel safe doing it outpatient. But I can't go in. My husband has told me that if I do he will most likely relapse. And please don't think he is being manipulative and that he doesn't want what's best for me. He does. He is just being honest. If he had to go back to detox right now I would definitely relapse with self Injury so I know what he means.

I am just so unsure