I just spent over an hour reading through some of my psych assessments, but stopped before reading all of them. I have a big stack, all from a couple of years ago. After reading all of that I feel kind of depressed. I don't know why I decided to pull all of those assessments out, because I haven't looked at them in a long time. Reading that makes me feel so inadequate, like documentation of all the mistakes I've made and all the things that have gone wrong. I'm in a much better place in life now than I was then, but I haven't totally recovered and I don't know if I ever will. This illness has really messed with my self esteem. I've been wondering if I'm hypomanic for the last couple of weeks, but today I'm feeling more depressed. I don't really know what is going on with me. I think I'm going to go for a run and clear my head.