As I'm sure many folks with Bipolar have done - I'm fighting myself about whether or not I'm Bipolar. I'm considering tapering off all my meds which of course is a very bad idea.

I wasn't diagnosed with Bipolar until I was 44 (I'm 45). My biological father and grandmother are both Bipolar I, I'm II.

I had a major nervous breakdown over a year ago and have been disabled since then. I tend towards the depressive side but also have mixed states/rapid cycling.

Because I was diagnosed so late in life (by 2 pdocs and 2 therapists) I find it hard to accept. Especially because I was so successful for so many years until I flipped out.

I can look back and tell you every behavior/symptom I've had since I was 14 that points to BP II.

I guess since I'm somewhat normalized based on what's gone on the the last 15 months (but still debilitating) I've convinced myself I'm not Bipolar and can go back to my high powered job and be "normal".

No one understands but you guys. I just need someone to slap me back into reality and tell me I'm bipolar and instead of fighting it - I need to try and manage it so I can have somewhat of a life again.

Thanks! You guys are wonderful.