i understand completely im in the same shape i was once lead everything was going well then my family had issues about angels i had nervous breakdowns now i cant go to church or in christian book stores i have felt gods pressance i was healed from alcholoism somewhere i lost it i was doing wonderful after my breakdowns i was diagnosed with manic depressive bipolor ive lost friends and at the bottem my therapist told me to watch the secret i did i would recomend that