This past Monday I found out rather abruptly that my therapist had passed away suddenly. I've spent the past week wondering if maybe this is a sign to stop therapy or not. I have an appointment to meet with one of her colleagues tomorrow and I am so scared about having to start all over with a new therapist. My last one was the only one I've had in my life that I felt understood me and actually helped me by challenging my thoughts and helping teach me to cope. I'm afraid I'll never find that again and I'm feeling really self-centered about it because she died and it's really not about me. I don't want this experience to keep me from getting better but I think this may spur some trust issues. I keep most people in my life at a distance but my therapist was the one person I told almost everything to and losing her has had a huge effect on me, one I wasn't prepared to have.

I was seeing this woman once a week for over nine months. The week before last I didn't get to see her because of Memorial Day and then my next appointment was when I found out she was gone. So now it's been 3 weeks of getting through life without therapy and I wonder if maybe I should just try to keep on trucking without a therapist. I mean, we're not supposed to see a therapist every week for life, right? I don't know if I am thinking this way because of my apprehension towards starting with a new therapist or because it actually makes sense. I can't trust my feelings most of the time.

Any advice? If it makes any difference, I'm diagnosed Borderline with anxiety and depression.