I mean no offense by this so forgive me if its not helpful, but I think perhaps you should throw that pact out the window...there is no shame in going to the hospital when you need help you can't possibly make a pact that you'll never need immediate help again...that is too much strain on yourself because it causes stress with you trying to force yourself to be 'ok' when you're not. Ive been in the psych ward twice and yeah its not like its great to have to go but a safer pact is probably that you wont hesitate to get yourself help when you're feeling unsafe.

Also if you are feeling like you might act on suicidal thoughts, they can't turn you away as far as I know...even if its hard to express yourself if you can at least mention concern about acting on suicidal thoughts they should admit you even if your not thinking of acting on it 100% of the time...but if you just say you're really depressed that is too vague. I understand not wanting to tell your mom, though your relationship with your mom might be worse than mine with my mom but I am always afraid she wont take it serious or will say the wrong thing...I mean if you really cant tell your mom you can always call 911, but ambulance bills are expensive so getting a ride would be cheaper. Is the only hospital you could go to two hours away or are there maybe closer ones?

Unfortunately though they tend to mostly focus on stabilization and getting you out, once you're 'safe' enough as in not suicidal...but you may also be able to get referrals to other programs afterwards. As for the situation with your parents maybe getting on disability if your condition is too bad for work(unless you're already on it) might be a good idea so you have some income and then depending on your area maybe you'd be able to move out...though I don't know if they have any lower income housing or anything like that in your area.