hi Laura,

welcome to the forums!

i can kind of relate to the experience you're having with your son. when i first started working for my company, i was put in the position of training others and answering workers' questions. because i was relatively new, there was a lot of resentment from the workers who had been with the company for several years. because i was the person designated to help others, they would come to me with their questions. i would give them an answer, but they didn't like what i said, so they'd go to other people, until they got the answer they were looking for. i kept thinking, "why are they bothering to ask me if they're not going to use the information i'm providing them?" for a long time, i tried to figure out the answer to this question but eventually gave up. it wasn't worth my time or effort to figure out other people's hang ups. all i could do was my job, which was training and helping others do their job. if some of the workers chose to go around the room, looking for another answer (and often not getting), then so be it. eventually, they'll realize that i was entrusted with this position for a reason.

i think the biggest thing that helped me was to not take it personally, to not make a big deal out of it. is there another reason why your son is asking for your husband's opinion? it almost sounds like he wants to talk about something other than the building of the house but is not quite sure how to go about it. has your family had good communication in the past?

i wish you and your family good luck. let us know how things are going.

take care,

splash