You sound connected quite honestly. I just get the feeling you have learned somewhere along the way that a connection must involve drama and intense emotions. Truly strong and healthy connections are really more what you already describe: calm, safe, comfortable. This relationship will NEVER feel exactly like any other relationship. You seem to expect it to feel just like your last T, but that isn't realistic. No two relationships are exactly the same. Can you consider just allowing this to be the safe, calm relationship it appears to be?