I don't get it, really. I can't figure out why it is that my brain is so preoccupied with sexual things.

Usually those things have nothing to do with my fiance. It's been close to eight years now; we have a son together, and we've had many, many problems throughout our time together. I'm starting to wonder if he didn't destroy what sexual attraction I had toward him by doing the things he did in the past.

That makes me feel badly also, because I feel like I should be able to forgive and forget.