Yeah, I've tried that one too. If you are hurtting yourself, there is a reason for it. We can't just stop all that without help. Well, maybe you can pretend it isn't really there, but how long will that last?

I hope I'm not pushing you too hard, but you sound like you want help and you're just afraid to get it. What are you afraid of, besides panic attacks? I mean, if you weren't afraid of something you wouldn't have a reason to panic. I wonder if you don't feel like you deserve to get better (drawing on my own history again on that one ).