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alexandra_k said:
Sometimes I feel like his comments / remarks are more disruptive than anything. I read about that somewhere. I guess he has tried to offer, not exactly interpretations, but little comments like that every now and again. I guess I've noticed that I tend to be quite rejecting / dismissive of those.

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This reminds me of a situation I had with my T. I constantly complain that he is too quiet, that I'm dying to know what he's thinking, and above all, that he should ask more questions to facilitate my ability to talk. (I have told him all of this). So, a couple of weeks ago, he's asking questions--considerably more than usual. And I find myself begin to get really irritated. Why is he asking so many questions? What the hell does he want to know? I shared this with him the following session, and it ended up leading in to a much needed discussion about how I live in extremes and opposites-- I will want something very much, but as soon as I get it, I'm angry/upset.

Another example: Like any other good borderline, I crave my T's attention, I yearn for him to be concerned about me. I often think about stirring things up a little (in terms of self destructive behavior) just to get his attention. Well, the other day I was on my cell phone while driving (yeah, I know..) and my husband said something that angered me. As soon as we finished the conversation, I had my usual bad temper reaction, and threw my cell phone against my dashboard so hard that it bounced to the back of the car. I told my T this and he got very concerned that I could have ended up getting into an accident or getting hurt. The more concern he showed, the more irritated I got.

Alex, most of my first year of therapy with my T was spend talking about my preconceptions of therapy. I had very rigid preconceptions. I wanted every second to be filled with intensity, but at the same time, I was so incredibly closed off to him. Things started to click more once I learned that I do not have to be linear in my thoughts or what I express during the session. He encourages me to free associate-- my free association does take on a more linear form than what is traditional of that technique.

How flexible is your T in regards to therapy on your terms? What I mean by this is that my T will normally follow my direction, my way of going about things. If I speak in analogies and metaphors (and I often do), he will adapt to this easily. He will hold a whole conversation with me, using my metaphors. Last session we were in a different therapy room, and I made a comment about something in a painting that was hanging on the wall. It was an abstract and something on it looked like a bridge. My T asked me where the bridge went to--- before I knew it, we were talking about me through the painting.

Probably the best direction I have learned how to take in therapy is the abandonment of direction, lol.