well I think I had the advantage in my situation. My husband doesn't like my family any more than I do.

Ask your family for time. Once you set boundaries, you don't have the avoidance issue but you might be accused of it. Your therapist can probably help you figure it out before it becomes destructive behavior.

"to help where help is not needed will corrupt..." I don't know if that came to mind because of this situation and your mother or because I've been a bit opinionated.

Best of luck to ya.