Hi, cureav! Parents who obstruct their children's independence have psychological/emotional issues. Healthy parents want their children to grow up and establish their own lives.

That's not to say that children shouldn't help their parents out as the parents become less capable, but, to me, it shouldn't be at the major expense of their own lives.

Your parents obviously have a lot of anger. But that doesn't mean you should give in to their thoughts that you "owe" them to the point where you are not allowed to grow up. They sound emotionally abusive to me.

My thoughts, anyway.