I can't recall how it is with this doctor... if you don't like him specifically or in general. It sounds to me like he is allowing you the choice to come back and work with him... that's good.

That you think of death daily is your depression showing... you know that. HE knows that... and if he had told you anything you probably would have tried to argue with him, in a way, right?

Make an appointment... if not with him, someone.