Thank you, birdpumpkin....you said something I had thought, but wasn't sure was right...my recent ex used to pick his fingers (cuticles) until they bled...I did finally manage to get him to stop but then he started (months later) to pick the skin on his arms. Once, sitting with him on the front stoop--he was actively picking and we weren't talking---it was a bad day and he was stressed. I asked him why he was doing it. With total seriousness, eyes nearly brilliant with clarity, he squeezed his forarm and said "look, you see this?" I did look. I saw nothing. He was so certain there was something there and he had to pick at it. I told him, there isn't anything there, as gently as I could. He just retorted "just because you don't see it doesn't mean its not there!"

The thing is....he'd started picking at his arms, neck, shoulders when he was home, so when he came to visit the last time, I knew he was over the top stressed. His skin was scabbed in so many places. Wasn't until later I realized what was causing this...and I seriously believe, looking back that he was having a psychotic break that eventually took over when he was with me, here.

After I ended the relationship, he went back home, then went back to his folks place. Although I haven't talked to him, I fully believe he's stopped picking..at least with the violence from previous. It was the most astonishing, heart wrenching thing I'd ever seen.

Yes, he was NPD and there was loads about him that ultimately crushed me. But the fact he was actively being crushed because he couldn't keep up the facade anymore....was just sad.