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Jun 09, 2014, 07:27 PM
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Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: NM
Posts: 349
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Hi All, I am new to this forum. Started out on Bipolar forum but I have gotten all new docs and gotten off of most all the Bipolar meds. I feel I was most probably misdiagnosed...long, disgusting story. I think I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression ONLY. My pdoc has promised me a diagnosis eventually. He is old and he keeps being out sick and I don't know how the heck he can possibly diagnose me unless he could have been with me every moment of my life since I was born.
I am 73 and wanted to get off Xanax/Alprazolam because it can cause dementia in the aged. One past pdoc told me that it "probably won't cause dementia because you take so little." "PROBABLY" is not good enough for me.
I was taking only 1 mg. Xanax at bedtime for sleep. For MANY years. One past pdoc told me it was not meant to be taken for more than two weeks! I went off 1 mg. Xanax per my present pdoc; it took four weeks and I added on the last week by taking only 1/8 mg. per day. I'm very good at cutting pills. lol
I then had withdrawal I could not tolerate - panic attacks and huge anxiety plus big time depression. So I went back on the Alprazolam, felt I had no other choice.
BUT, WHAT this did for me was make me remember and realize that I have had these awful anxiety feelings ALWAYS, since I was a tiny child. I believe I inherited this along with two auto-immune diseases, Fibromyalgia and Scleroderma (Raynaud's Disease). The Fibro is now gone because of a treatment I had called TMS, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. I remembered feeling this same awful anxiety when I was in the lower grades in school, also higher grades and into my adulthood. When very young, I tried to play sick to stay home from school. This is also coupled with the horrid way I was raised, by a misogynist mother who truly believed her only son was much more important than her three 'stupid, brainless' daughters she treated like babies always and who also would NOT allow any expression of feelings at all within the family. Crying was not allowed, feeling scared was not allowed, one was made to feel guilty for feeling happy or laughing, ad nauseum, ETC. Poor misogynist mother...she could not have been a happy individual.
Does anyone have any similarities to any of this in their experience?
Has anyone done CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, to learn the skills needed to combat anxiety????? I know I need to change my negative mindset and my thought patterns.
Please answer me, whatever you have to offer. I am feeling desperate. I know where I can get CBT for no cost, hopefully, but I would like to know more about this first if possible! I could use some encouragement or whatever your thoughts are on this. THANK YOU!
PrairieCat
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