Are you in care of therapist or psychiatrist? You sound really down. I can relate to the being scared to die and scared of time going by. While I have been depressed off and on for many years, I've been severely depressed the last month or so. I'm visiting my parents and maybe that's why I'm so depressed. But they love me and I am safe although feel sick in my own skin.

Have you ever tried CBT? or read Albert Ellis? He does Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Very good stuff although it requires effor on the part of the patient.

I hope you feel better soon.