Thanks guys for your comments!
I can't start earlier and it's coming soon enough, in two weeks. I do want to be independent but over the last month or so, I've been so depressed even at my parent's house. I think I'm scared of doing nothing which is what I've been doing.
I do believe my meds need to be adjusted. Unfortunately my pdoc is in Mexico and I'm not near her right now. I was either going to go back to Mexico or do this job. I elected to do this job. My plan (best laid) is to start working and then when I have several days off, go back to Mexico, visit my ex partner and see my doctor.
I appreciate you're help!