I figured I would start my own thread, don't know if I will have the energy to talk about it all.

Well, I just posted in Mowtowns thread and it made me realize something I had not thought about this way before.

I said:
What I find interesting is how you were treated verses how I was treated (in his psych ward stay). I broke and needed to slow down and take a break, yet was told that I could not do that in many ways. That reflects on my childhood where I had some big challenges, my family had issues too, had to look good to the public, and though I struggled I had to keep finding a way to keep going then too.

He discribed his treatment as "you need to stop working and change your life", which triggered him, understandably. I was treated the opposite way where
I was pushed to keep going as though I was only "acting and not really struggling".

Yet, I presented totally exhausted emotionally and physically, and asking for rest and grief counseling. Yet, I was not allowed to really rest and by my records I was not believed either as I was misdiagnosed.

Anyway, I got to thinking and in so many situations had I been a man, I would have been taken more seriously and treated differently. I even noticed this when I told my therapist that my husband broke down too, he went to bed and would not work or pay the bills for over a month, I didnt get to do that, and I paid our bills with money I had gotten from the sale of a horse, which should have gone to paying on the dept my neighbors dog created instead.

My therapist sat up and really paid attention when I told him that, and gee
IT REALLY MUST HAVE BEEN SERIOUS.

When I had my appendix rupture leaking toxins into my body cavity, I got very ill and had solid pain instead of the pain only on one side symptom.
I thought I must have had the flu, but each day I got worse and weaker until
it was so bad I could not move and was really weak, I felt like my body was dieing, it was very different. I told my husband to call an ambulance, that something was very wrong, at least he believed me and did that. When the emt came up stairs they moved me off the bed onto a board and the pain was so bad I moaned, and the EMT yelled at me to "shut up" and I was just moaning as I was in enormous pain. He told me to shut up a few times.

Do you think he would have done that if I was a man?

My spleen was injured during a colonscopy and I was bleeding internally, but did not realize it until again I began to feel a lot of pain. I got very dizzy too and when I called the doctor's office that did the procedure I was told to go
to an emergency room. I was so dizzy and in pain that I didn't want to drive,
well, my husband didn't believe me, got mad but finally agreed to drive me.
When I got to the emergency room, I just managed to get to the door and my legs collapsed, I was so embarrassed and my husband stood over me yelling at me to "get the hell up and knock it off".

Do you think I would have been yelled at that way if I was a man?

I had a really bad day today IRL, and I don't have the energy to talk about it all tbh. But I will say that if I was a "man" I would not have been treated like I was today.

I have a lot of these situations I could list here too. And in every one of them I can see how it would have been so different "If I was a man".