wow.....just feeling very bad right now.....thinking maybe writing (reaching out?) could help.....anybody else ever feel like this? like very alone......like your mental issues cannot be discussed - I mean that it seems like IT'S MY FAULT that I feel this way (basically I just can't cope well with life - the demands, the expectations).....and because of that, I don't deserve assistance....it must have been like alcoholism was 200 years ago, before AA - like it's a shameful thing and thusly you need to fix it yourself - the shame.......so now I don't know where to turn.....I know I need help because of the amazing pain of dealing with each day.....and that's where my occasional thoughts of ending it come from (though I don't have a plan and don't think I would actually do it).......I remember back in the 80's when I was in a psych ward, I felt VALIDATED.....things were much different back then I guess......there was money for mental health care....the main thing about it was that I had found a community.....that was really important for me.....to find a place where I didn't have to feel ashamed.....you can't get better if you can't accept you have a problem......I guess my wife is involved in this - we are separated but her attitude has always been one of: "Come on, you're OK.....my husband CAN'T have a mental illness - so get over it"........wow, that hurts.......OK, I'm sorry - I know I"m just rambling here.......that's enough