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I wasn't sure where to post this, but since it's about a friend, I guess this is an OK place to do so. Anyways, my best friends dad died a couple of months ago from a blood clot in the hospital. He had a heart attack a few weeks before that and had surgery. My friend was super close to her dad, and to make things worse, she has had to endure one bad thing after another for the last couple of years. One of them being that she's out of work and her unemployment benefits ended months ago.
Of course, I listened to hear talk on the phone for hours & I sent her a card and I offered to send her flowers, but she told me that I didn't have to, so I didn't. She told me to save my money as I'm not working either. The funeral was small, so I wasn't invited. It was mostly a family affair. She is a strong person, so she is dealing with his death fairly well although she did cry a lot in the beginnning of course. She is also close to her mom and one of her uncles and she has a few other close friends too.
Anyways, I'm not sure if I'm reacting to this situation the right way. Should I call her or email her more often to see how she's doing? She suggested that we get together more than a few times since we haven't seen each other in over two months, but every time she either forgets, or something comes up.
I'm confused as to what is going on here. Is this how people act when they're greiving? Do their emotions go up and down for awhile? I know that sounds silly, but I need to hear other people's opinions about this as I've never known anyone who's dealt with this before.
I also have another friend who's mother died while she was on vacation to visit them. How awful! This death was a bit different though as her mom had a stroke several years ago, so she kind of lost her a long time ago.
She was upset of course, but she was much more prepared for her mom's death than my best friend was and she is acting like her usual self again. Why would my best friend say let's get together and not call or email me? I don't get it. I'd think that she'd want support now more than ever! Of course, I'd understand if she'd rather be alone now, but why say I miss you, and let's get together soon and then not follow through? It's not like her usually.
Am I being a good friend or not? I think I am, but if anyone thinks I can do more, let me know. It seems to me as if my best friend is kind of avoiding me and other people as much as she can for now so that she can grieve in private. I don't know. I'd appreciate any advice.
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