Hi there
Yes, I have thought about leaving him at times, but I could never actually do it. He is my best friend and I love him very much, but sometimes it is very hard for me to accept that he might never be able to father children. (Just to clarify, I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks pregnant, we did not loose a live born baby)

Sometimes it just feels as though I've just made all the wrong choices and that now I'm stuck in a life I don't want and could never be happy in. Every day I get older and it seems like the possibility of the life I imagined is slipping further and further away. I have lost hope that I will ever really find meaning in my life or ever be happy again.

I also no longer know what I want to do with my life, I don't even know if it is even really about having children anymore. It just seems as though since I got married, nothing in my life has works out the way I planned. Our business is stuck in a rut (we been battling red tape for over 3 years to try to get it off the ground), we can't have children, I can't seem to find my feet professionally (I still don't know what I want to do for a job). I am just so lost and I don't know how to get out of this frame of mind.

Before the miscarriage it seems everything was on track, but since then it is like all our dreams just got flushed down the toilet. I am too scared even to hope, because I can't handle the disappointment anymore. But that means I am constantly in a disappointed and depressed state, so what is the use?