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The thing about depression is it's very isolating. I don't want to keep saying to my friend or my mom that I'm blue or scared or lazy, so I stop calling them. They call me, I don't want to answer, so it takes on a life of its own and then I am isolated. Depression + Social Anxiety (SAD) + General Anxiety (GAD) + embarrassment = Agoraphobia. You do see others as functioning while they're "sad" and then you kick yourself even more. I'm not working now, and my house should be spotless but it is far from it. When all of these issues were manageable, I worked, I came home to raise my girls, I kept a clean house and everything moved along. I was (self-described) manic for years. Now I sit up on the side of the bed, planning to accomplish something and I freeze: I am completely paralyzed by all of it.
Let me tell you. After spending some time reading, replying or chatting (my first experience with chatting) here, I often feel able to get up and do one thing, and one is more than I did yesterday. Then I can call my mom and talk about other things, and that is more than I did yesterday. Slowly, albeit with set-backs, it might be a better day than yesterday.
You guys help me as much as ten years' worth of meds.
(((((Hugs))))) to everyone who supports me here, and to everyone I try to support.
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