I had an appt with my pdoc for the end of the month, but went manic a couple weeks ago. I called (a couple weeks ago) and asked for the soonest available appt. They gave me the 19th. I think I'm Ok to wait that long but I can never really tell. My family usually keeps me in line... My mother's been feeding me once a day because otherwise I forget to eat... How do I tell when I've gone over the edge and should go to the er or something? How can I manage myself while waiting for my appt? I haven't even been showering because I can't be still that long... I'm blogging a lot... I think I'll be taking my posts in to see him because I don't feel he takes me very seriously. I just came out of a deep depression and I'm not sure how far up I'm headed... My family has taken such good care of me (or perhaps they've enabled me) that I've only been hospitalized for 1 manic episode, and treated for acute mania one other time... The rest of the time, they've kept me in line somehow (my grandmother was bipolar and self-medicated, my mother grew up taking care of her, so she's well equipped). The only way I've been able to get any sleep is to take halcion that I was prescribed as a temporary solution not by my pdoc but another doctor... I'm not technically supposed to be on it, but I know not sleeping will make things worse. I have some seroquel I can take for sleep, but I'm not supposed to be taking that either... But I can't sleep without it... I even tried alcohol. Nothing. I think I got an hour last night, but I can't be sure. The good news is that I got all my weeding and planting done for the season, pulled all the grass out of my perennials, wrote a 2000 word essay (my english final), etc. But how long will I be productive before I go over the edge? And how can I avoid going off the rails??