It's good that you have come to this realization. I hope you seek some help. It's so common for people with mental health issues like depression and anxiety to self-medicate with alcohol. I think we're more susceptible to alcholism because we're just looking for something to shut off our minds and take the pain away. It takes away the pain for a little while, but as you know, it makes things much worse overall.

I just found out a few years ago that there is a very long history of depression in my family. I was used to seeing all my great-uncles drunk all the time, dealing with alcoholism-related health issues, etc. My grandfather died when my dad was 14. He got sent home from work because he was drunk and ended up stumbling in front of a logging truck and got killed. So, I knew alcholism was rampant in my family and it made we want to be vigilant about never drinking heavily. It wasn't until I talked to my dad about it that I found out that the underlying problem -- the problem that all my relatives are trying to drown in alcohol -- was depression.