Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom
If you don't have a therapist that is probably a good first step. Most of what you said tends to revolve around relationships which in my mind means you may want to see if you feel more understood with the borderline personality disorder. Where ever you feel more at home with doesn't mean you have that disorder but that you feel more understood by.
Do you do any mood charting or anything?
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Thanks for responding... I've never done mood charting. What is that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plzsti
I'm sorry it's been tough but you know we all go through a lot of what you describe. You probably should talk to your pdoc about this. Maybe you need a bit of a med adjustment. I can understand that your moods would be scattered after you moved. Moving is very stressful and stress is our enemy. I also am on Lamictal 200mg and I find it works really well even though my moods can get mixed but I think that's just the way it goes. I go on Seroquel when it gets really bad and I can't sleep.
Just a question. Have you ever been diagnosed with BPD?  |
Thanks for replying. I have not. I did however just look it up and to be quite honest... most of it fits exactly what I'm going through.
Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to abandonment, whether real or perceived
A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation) <--- This one is very similar to what I go through. It's like if a person shows the slightest bit of interest in me, they're all I think about, they're the only one I want to be around and honestly that doesn't really change until I find someone else. God, now I really sound crazy but I can't help it. I find it very hard to just be normal with someone. I literally have to keep reminding myself, you are not allowed to call/text this person today. You are not allowed to ask them to hang out unless they ask you first. That can turn on a dime though, it's like I can instantly decide that I don't like someone, even if they haven't really done anything and then I can become very hateful towards them.
Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices)
Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating <--- The binge eating and the unsafe sex... I once had unprotected sex with a man I knew had an STD but at the time... I didn't care, it was like, I'll never get it and then a week later I'm sitting there like... wth did I do?!
Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom
I know I just typed a very long reply but I don't have a pdoc, I can't afford one. Now I really don't know what to do.