Well, I'm on my lunch hour, so I can respond at length.

First of all, OE, I have to say, you've gotten a raw deal all around, and that just made everything SO MUCH WORSE. You needed loving kindness, support and comfort from your family after the dog attack, and didn't get it. You needed (and more importantly deserved) competent legal help, and didn't get it. You needed people to listen to you, and didn't get that in real life either.

I know that in my case, I often ponder about how differently things would have turned out if I had just gotten what I wanted in that psychiatrist's office, which was a few kind words and my request for outpatient treatment and absolute privacy be honored.

My therapist raises a point, often, that, had it gone down differently, it is unlikely I would have been so motivated to change my life. Which is true, but I still do not believe the trauma of the situation was necessary. As I said so many times, I needed loving kindness, and I got another iron fist.

You needed that, too. In so many situations, I think having someone tell you "it will be OK" is so important. Those few words can mean so much, and I can think of a number of times in my life I needed to hear that message, but I didn't get it. And, honestly, I think it would have made a difference at those times, I might not have gotten so consumed with fear and depression if I thought there was "hope".