Last night I felt terrible, I thought I posted about it... Guess not.
I felt almost like I was going to get hysterical. Anxiety was high, but not close to panic but close. I thought I was going to snap and loose it. I was alone in the house and have been at that time for a few hours. I called up my BF and I don't know what the point is when I call him because he gives me no comfort. He doesn't know what to say, he sucks at communicating. But even though he didn't speak to me just having him on the phone helped me ...
I went online after that to keep busy. It sucked, I think it was being alone. I hate being alone.
Food anxiety is up again, over something that is made to flavor up your popcorn? I thought has it gone bad, it's been a few years?
Anxious again today, Been reading all day and doing my boards. But all the boards are slow right now so I am not keeping busy.
I got to try and get a job soon, and i'm scared. Am I really though? I don't know.
I'm feeling frustrated.
I notice that my mood is slowly going downhill. I notice that the days are getting shorter and soon I will have to deal with SAD's again.
Why does it always have to be something? I'm no longer plauged with PTSD, then anxiety starts up, now I think my depression is creeping up on me. I don't want to loose the control.
Why can I never feel good? This summer I did for a bit, I felt great, now I'm feeling like crap again.
Will I ever win?
<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>
<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>
<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>