Quote:
Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse
Not so odd. I think we all go through that from time to time.
I thought I'd accepted my own diagnosis until last fall, when I got this brilliant idea that I really wasn't bipolar, but had just been going through an existential crisis that I'd finally snapped out of. That preceded one of my worst manic episodes ever, which was swiftly followed by a crash into depression. It was as if the universe said, "Take THAT, you big dummy!"
Still, I flirt with the idea sometimes, and what I do to remind myself that my diagnosis is, indeed, correct is to go back over blog entries I wrote when I was hypo/manic or depressed. It helps to ground me in reality and also makes me grateful for the relative stability I enjoy today.  |
I tend to doubt and think it has been existential crisis too. My therapist agreed, my pdoc is sure it's bipolar though. I told her that i thought i was just reacting to a lot of stress and circumstances, and she said that nonbipolar people don't react to stress in such an extreme way to need hospitalization, etc. But i do think there is an element of existential distress, i don't think that for me it is 100% biochemical. This kind of thing is too complicated to have one single cause, it's multifactorial. I see my therapist to work on existential issues, and my pdoc for meds, and it seems to be working for now. I do doubt that i'll need meds for life, and even though i know it's risky, i'd like to try to come off at some point. So maybe that is doubting the diagnosis. It's a hard thing to accept because it changes the way i think of a lot of the decisions i've made and things that have happened. I like it's normal to have some doubts.
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