I fought being bipolar in the beginning too. My psychosis has been relatively under control for the past few years, mostly because I accept now that I'm prone to it and take steps to keep myself functioning - and not just meds, but meditation, socializing, finding projects I'm interested in. I don't know what I'd do without theatre. It has honestly kept me alive on more than one occasion.

Today I hung out with some university classmates and I always feel weird because they talk about the people they don't like, and I WAS the person no one liked in high school, so part of me is worried they're going to decide to hate and make fun of me soon, and part of me just feels so bad for the unpopular kids. I thought university was beyond high school politics but I guess I'm not sure. Is it human to dislike and talk about people?

Also I mentioned how I was doing studies to get money and they all acted weird. I guess they don't get it. To me it's means I'm resourceful and resilient.

I am so tired but I have a 2 hour rehearsal for the play tonight, and then I have to stay up until midnight because that's when course selection for September opens, but the system is so stupid it might take me 2 hours to get on, and then I have to get up at 7 to get ready for my nephrology appointment at 8:45. Not looking forward to it.

EDIT: As far as ultra-rapid cycling, I don't think my pdoc believes in it either. They always want my manias and depressions to last at least 2 weeks before becoming concerned. Technically I was diagnosed rapid cycling, because I had 2 manias and 2 depressions in a year. Some doctors believe ultra-rapid or ultradian cycling exists - I've read it's more common in children and teens, which I can believe.