Thanks for the reply s4ndm4n2006. To answer your question on whether I am the jealous-type, I can safely say I am not. In the past I have welcomed my husband's female friends with their husbands into our home and we have all got along wonderfully together. When I'm told about female friendships that naturally develop through work, and there's no secrecy, then all is well.

It's only the secrecy and the one-one one dinner scenario that is the problem. The breaking of trust. Moving into his flat for 'work purposes' is what led to separate lives and secrets. He formed a whole other life without me, with freedom to do as he pleased. He clearly took advantage of that.

He has a genius IQ and works in IT, and admits to being very arrogant and allowing other women to stoke his ego. He's the ultimate geek. He was bullied and ridiculed in school, never had a girlfriend to speak of until me, and I think that he has been basically enjoying any attention he can get from women and running with it for all he's worth. He says he has no female friends in the workplace at this point in time. At work, he's not well-liked generally, tells me he feels so hated by some and currently has alot of problems there, which is how it's been his entire career through. He's managed to make a couple of male friends here and there, who usually move on. He has a massive ego since successfully flirting and bonding with quite a few women as he has aged from what I can see.

Thanks again for the response. I wrote a post to thank everyone here earlier today, but it doesn't appear to have gone through as yet. In case it doesn't get through(error on my part), then thank you all for taking the tile to respond and offering hugs and wonderful support. xx