Musical, your good intentions did come through. But there's no telling if your friend will be in a mood to understand that. I hope you both can work things out eventually.

I've had situations with my friends when our lives went in different directions for a while and then we got back together and all was well. I'm on the outs with one of my best friends right now. He's totally P.O.ed at me and I'm baffled, but remaining open to the idea that things can settle down and we'll pick up again. I'm working on making sure I have no hard feelings or resentments. Truth is, I don't like the way he acted toward me one bit, but I think I can understand the reasons. I wasn't acting the way he wanted me to and I still have no inclinations to act the way he wants. That right there is a recipe for discord. But I figure it doesn't matter who's the most right and the most wrong in the situation because when I look at it with total honesty I know that from his perspective I'm wrong (and vice versa) and from my perspective I'm right (and vice versa.) I'm just trying to feel forgiving because in the grand scheme of things all my friend did was show angry emotional distress, with some strong words. Not really a betrayal. All I did was say, Don't treat me that way. Not exactly a betrayal either.

I get the strong sense that what's gone on between you and your friend amounts to strong emotions and some harsh words, but not betrayal to the center of the soul.

The hard fact is that some life transformations truly change the dynamics in a friendship. Marriage is one. Pregnancy and parenthood is another. It's likely that you and your friend may never be able to go back to the way you were when you were both younger and single and totally each other's top priority.

That's all changed now. Her marriage and pregnancy (and future child) have to take top spot now, along with her own needs, which are changing rapidly. But even when friendships change, they can survive and even become stronger in time.

It's commendable that you now realize you can't expect her to meet your needs the way she used to and that you'll be looking for a boyfriend. That's healthy. There's no way to know how she'll take that statement.

For one thing, a pregnant woman has so many changes going on right inside her own body and in her marriage, that even the most stable and even-tempered women sometimes can't easily cope with changes from their friends or other family members. I hope you will give her some slack. As well as giving yourself some slack, too. It's really hard when our very best friend in the world suddenly has priorities that shift us out of the number one spot in their lives. It hurts. But a forgiving heart can get us through the crisis of change.