I've found myself self-harming, panicking over potential damage I cannot immediately asses and resolving to stop self-harming. But then I am able to assess the damage and find it's not all that bad. I want to do it again.
I had intended to mention it to T today, but she didn't ask, and I didn't know how to bring it up. I don't want to stop because it brings relief, but it also brings panic. I keep trying to get some release from a different spot, but it's not doing what I need it to. So I resort back to the spot in question (that is difficult to assess in the moment). I don't necessarily want to stop the sh, just the panic around it. I think that is why I didn't bring it up with T. I don't want to waste time on it for us to agree to disagree on the topic... i dunno. sorry, this really had no point...