Well I started with a new psychiatrist and she started me on 10 mg of Lexapro and changed my Seroquel for bedtime and sleep to the Seroquel XR so it works during the day too. I think the Seroquel XR is making me dizzy and a little stumbly & clumsy & I can't really tell if that's what it is, or something else is going on it's making me feel mildly drugged throughout the day. I've been feeling moderately depressed a little hopeless and somewhat apathetic. But unfortunately I'm also having elevated irritable symptoms as well... so I think that means I'm still mixed. Why can I just get a nice hypomania with no crazy symptoms just energy and no need to sleep?! Instead I'm up and then down and doing lists and schedules like a mad man on some kind of serious time constraint, but also feeling suicidal & having violent intrusive thoughts & images; some from PTSD trauma flashbacks & some intrusive thoughts of either hurting or killing myself with very graphic images. It's incredible that I'm still dealing with my kids and doing my laundry and showering. I feel so insane inside like I'm going to spontaneously combust or implode or something. All it takes to get a full on panic attack going is me dropping something or some tangled hangers. Tangled hangers are my arch-nemesis. I freaking lose it when I have to deal with them.

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