As you already know, death and losing my family, especially my parents is my biggest fear. My parents are in their mid 50s and they're fairly healthy so I know they have more years ahead but it's still a scary thought. My grandma is over 80 years old and she seems full of life, it's incredible. She can see, hear and walk perfectly and doesn't have any major health issues like diabetes or cancer or anything. My great grandma (my grandmas mom) lived to her 90s! I hope my grandma lives to her 90s as well. It's ironic but I used to tell my mom that she always worried before storm even hit and now I'm worrying and the storm isn't even here. I'm creating a storm inside of me before the real storm. We should enjoy the sunshine and deal with the storm when it comes. It's easy to say but really hard to practice. But we have to try. I don't know if any of that made sense, hope it did. Btw, I'm trying CBT. Thanks for the suggestion. Anyways, I know you posted this a while ago but I still wish you luck with the job situation! I hope you can keep this one

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