I know I have potential.. amazing potential.. but I can't I just can't and I don't know why..

I don't go to school like half of the time and don't even realize how much school I've missed. I don't study at all and I shut down when I'm bored.

Right now I'm cramming for my finals and I feel amazing because I'm stressed out and stress/pressure to get stuff done keeps me going. I do really well under pressure.

I'm procrastinating as we speak. But you know what I'm going to do?.. I'm gonna study right the **** now my break is over after studying and studying I don't care if I have to sleep on the desk that's my bed now. I have never had this attitude towards this because I DON'T WANT A REGULAR JOB. Sure I can't make loaaaads of money by doing labor which is so easy because it doesn't involve studying but it's so boring and the people are boring and aaaah.. right now.. right now ill go...

I don't even drink coffee to stay up late which makes it harder because when I take my concerta, it makes me fall into a deep sleep because of my genetics causing a stimulant paradoxical effect.

I will punish myself. I will bully myself. I.. will not give up ever and I don't care what people say. They'll be laughing.

I have no motivation 99% of the time but it will change today! EVEN THOUGH I SAID THAT ALREADY 100000 TIMES.

AAAAHHHHHH...

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