So, for a few months now, I have had feelings of persistent emptiness with my depression. I used to feel that way from time to time, but now it is every day. Before this, I used to experience more severe depression
(feelings of hopelessness, crying every day, etc).

A few months ago, I went for a couple of weeks feeling very anxious and I barely slept (I did not feel like myself at all). It was very scary, and I am not sure exactly why it happened, but I decided to go to the doctor and I was prescribed Cipralex (I currently take 15 mg) and ever since then I have been a bit less emotional, barely crying at all. I still feel depressed, but in a different way than before.

To make it worse, I also deal with symptoms of OCD and Generalized Anxiety, so I just feel like i'm going through the motions feeling empty and repeating things all of the time, and having the same things go through my head all of the time (some very unpleasant).

A lot of the time I don't even know how I feel. Since I started taking the medication, I have accomplished more than I have in years- I have enrolled in college for next year, and I am taking steps toward employment and being more involved in the community (including volunteering on a weekly basis) but I feel so unhappy, and I have not felt happy in years. I know that part of me feeling the way I do is having no friends and also not doing anything at all that I really enjoy, but it is like part of me wants to connect with other people and be more involved in things outside of my house, but part of me is indifferent because I am so used to being alone, and I am also afraid in some ways because my anxiety and depression make me feel guilty and because I feel so empty and just like nobody, and like I have nothing to offer to another person, either in a friendship or a relationship. I don't feel like a whole person who has a fufilling life.

There have been times where i've asked myself if i'm really truly alive (I know that I am, but this is just a thought that I have had) because I feel like i'm just going through the motions and like i'm trapped and isolated from everything and everyone. I definately have not felt this way my entire life, more so over the past couple of years.

One thing I feel thankful for right now is that I finally am getting a proper assessment done for the first time in my life, which i'm hoping is going to lead to a correct diagnosis and help me to properly manage my symptoms (i've been dealing with this for years and i've come to a point where my only option is to change my life). Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Also, does anyone else here ever feel "empty" with depression?