From what you describe, I would run as far and as fast as I could from this guy. The controling only gets worse when you live together. Don't accept that kind of treatment. I know it will be hard to give him and your dreams for the two of you up but it wll be harder once you are under the same roof because the controling and name calling won't get better. As Oprah says, "When people show you who they are believe them." I wish I had heard this before I married the second time. It would have saved me a lot of heartbreak.