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Old Jun 11, 2014, 08:46 AM
Anonymous12111009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JosieTheGirl View Post
This is an observation. Title of this thread: "I was not invited to Comicon by two "friends", should I cut them out permanently?"

Point of this observation:
Was this an actual question and were you seeking advice, or did you need to discuss and process?

It's important in this situation to clarify that. Not necessarily for the other people in the discussion [though that is helpful often because it cuts down on frustration- it's really not pleasant to have the equivalent of someone yelling at you when you are only trying to offer advice in response to what seems like a specific request for it], but also for yourself.

If you were legitimately asking the question, the confusion comes in because from your very first post you have nearly already made your decision for yourself, which seems to demonstrate a pretty negative outlook and it appears you are convinced of a negative outcome.

Maybe you could look at that. Is that a pattern for you? Or is it just that in this specific situation you have just reached a "no return" point of frustration?

Asking yourself these questions may help you figure out to some degree what happened in the unraveling of these relationships and help you to see these things before they reach the disintegration point in the future.

Another thing to do might even be sitting down just by yourself and establishing for your own benefit what you are or are not willing to accept in a friendship- what you need in a friendship, what you can give and what is a "real" friendship versus what constitutes a "fake" friendship may prove to be more helpful in the long run.

Also, no don't yell at people who are trying to help.

maybe just a "I appreciate that you are trying to help, but it's not working for me" or some such thing.

Josie.
Agree wholeheartedly with this. If you want advice, ask it but be open and respectful when you respond. No one here has interests in mind other than trying to help you with your problem so why be so standoffish with those here trying to be supportive? Even if you don't like the answer there is no need to yell, no need to "smh" at people and condescend others as if they "don't get it" Because frankly if you have it all figured out, why are you here?

I never understood the mentality behind "I don't really care about the event but I wnat to be invited anyway." That is just pure attention seeking and looking out for your own needs, has nothing to do with spending time with the other people whatsoever.

And regardless of whether you expressed that you have very little interest overtly, the truth is I would bet top dollar that they know.
Thanks for this!
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